| >>CLOSED<< |
[18 Jan 2005|04:34pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
-melodramatic sigh-
once more i'm moving onto greener pastures (who can keep up!?)
find me now at >>no more va-va-voom<<.
half-assed explainations (as are my specialty) shall follow over there...
-flail-
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| busy busy |
[14 Jan 2005|02:50pm] |
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mood |
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 dehydrated |
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music |
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aretha - respect |
] |
what a day for erin-chan! at 2am this morning, after closing my book and settling down into my covers, i decided i was ACTUALLY going to start on my new years resolution, and begin a training regime for my brown belt. so, setting my alarm for 8am, i snuggled in and rode the zzz wave out.
8am came and went under a flurry of snooze-button, until at last at 8.30 i emerged from my (stifling by this point) covers and crawled into my shorts and runners. and top (mustn't forget that). i plugged in my iPod (for running was the prime reason i BOUGHT the damn thing in the first place), drank a glass of water and off i went, to the inspirational strains of aretha franklin's 'respect'.
15 minutes later, i returned, red-faced, sweaty and triumphant, to a note that said 'please hang out the washing'. thanks mum. acquiescing, i entertained the dog for a good 20 minutes, throwing all the stuff she leaves on my porch onto the grass only to have her slyly return it as soon as i wasn't looking, and then i went inside for another drink and to stretch. i finished stretching, and, feeling abnormally energetic i launched into finishing half the grading requirement for pushups and situps - 25 of each situp, and 25 pushups (on my knees - i'm working on it, i'm working on it!). crazy bitch.
shower, tidy up and breakfast soon followed, afterwhich i did my usual thing and jumped on the computer. a depressing yet oddly liberating conversation with adam later, kate asks if i want to tag along while she runs some errands and of course, who can turn down a trip to swinburne? (whoever says 'everyone' first will get slapped).
we walked and walked and walked to get her concession card form filled in (to safeway, to get cash out; to the chinese food shop, for lunch; to the trainstation, to pick up the form; to the student union, to be told they didn't take the photos she needed; to kodak, to take photos; back to student union, to get form stamped; back to trainstation, to get form and card processed), and HIGHLIGHT of highlights, we got icecream from 'trampoline' on the way :-) mmmmmmmmmm.
nothing cheers one faster than icecream from 'trampoline'. damn, now i'm drooling again.
and now, i'm home (obviously) wiling away the hour or so until i have to go to work >b00< i'm so tired...
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| my darling DS... |
[14 Jan 2005|02:29pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
] |
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music |
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sophie ellis-bextor - get over you |
] |
in the words of sophie ellis-bextor...
you think you've got your way
but baby there's a catch
don't need your foul play
now you have met your match
you think you're in control
but that won't last that long
you thought you wore the crown
honey, you were wrong
you had me taken in
but now I've found you out
and I won't go through that again
you've always had to win
you'll have to go without
you don't know where to stop
go, go, go, go, go
i'll get over you
you drive me crazy, up the wall
think you're mr know-it-all
go, go, go, go, go
i'll get over you
you drive me crazy, up the wall
goodbye mr know-it-all
happy now?
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| a travellin' we go.... |
[12 Jan 2005|01:14pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
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music |
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guy sebastian - out with my baby |
] |
who feels like going to hawaii for my, josh and ash's birthday??
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| murmurs in the shadows |
[12 Jan 2005|11:09am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
] |
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music |
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KMFDM - brute |
] |
adam's going to colorado to guard his aunt - long story short, her ex-husband is stalking her. i'm worried that adam'll do something drastic - he's told me, repeatedly, that he's been TRAINED to kill people, quickly, simply, and that he'd quite easily be able to do it to this guy who's caused his family so much pain. i know he wouldn't do anything without due provocation but still - he's now got the training, and if it comes down to a judge, adam's had training, he KNOWS what he's doing. case closed.
i just want him to stay safe - guard his family, keep them safe, but also take care of himself. i know he's retreated into a shadow of his former self, and i'm well aware that's that's my fault, but god-dammit, i'm so scared for him.
you're on my mind, love. just.... be safe.
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| too hot |
[11 Jan 2005|07:53pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
] |
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music |
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gwen stefani - rich girl |
] |
wish i could do this...
instead, we're going to the pub! w00t!
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| iPod mini, baby! |
[10 Jan 2005|01:43pm] |
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mood |
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 productive |
] |
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music |
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JBT - seeing angels |
] |
w000t!
still working out the kinks and the bugs, but i think i'm doin ok :-) just gonna sit here for hours and import my entire CD collection :-p
oh, btw - got iPod mini ($399) + iTrip ($70) + 3 years warranty ($60) for $500. could have done better, but definately could have done MUCH worse :-) seeing as i was originally considering getting an iPod ($500) and its iTrip ($80). the mini seems a better idea for me, since i get sick of songs anyway, and keeping 20G of music i wouldn't listen to seems a little pointless. plus, the reason i wanted an iPod was for the iTrip anyway, and since i could get it with the mini, 'why not' i said! :-p
-rocks out to JBT while she waits-
 <--- is me
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| poetry |
[08 Jan 2005|11:55pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
] |
i've been idly scribbling this poem on all available surfaces since i first read it when i was fourteen.
its honestly one of the most beautiful, simple things i've ever read. i wish i knew who wrote it.
do not stand by my grave and weep
i am not there, i do not sleep
i am a thousand winds that blow
i am the diamond glints on snow
i am the sunlight ripened grain
i am the gentle autumn rain
when you wake in the morning hush
i am the swift upflinging rush
of quiet birds in circling flight
i am the soft starshine at night
do not stand by my grave and cry
i am not there, i did not die
-anon
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| this is where i yell 'argh' |
[08 Jan 2005|11:17pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
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music |
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past the point of no return |
] |
ARGH!!
live journal has been SO GOOD lately, and now, when i'm halfway through a 100 question quiz, it resets the page.
-frowns-
however, i DID go and see phantom again :-) so i'm still unbelievably cheery :-p
-sings- wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near
sometimes it seemed, if i just dreamed, somehow you would be here...
and its been officially decided (though really, i had no choice, since kate was involved in the decision) that i'm to have a costume party for my 21st birthday. a 'movie' theme - and in my current state, i'm contemplating going as christine ;-) (ooooh, whatta surprise...), inspired by this and this and this aaaaand.... this (though it will NEVER happen :-p)
what do you reckon? :-p
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| ta da! |
[08 Jan 2005|10:38am] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
] |
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music |
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phantom of the opera |
] |
new phantom-themed journal :-D will be working on the colour scheme when i get home from work.
props to black_icons for the icon :D when i learn to link LJ users, i will :-D
ps - guess what mummy kate and i are going to see at the movies tonight?? ^_^
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| beachie beachie |
[06 Jan 2005|06:01pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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anything but JBT :-p |
] |
monday night, i get a call from rossco-tabossco
him: 'wanna come down the beach?'
me: 'yup'
him: 'i'll be at your place after work >click<'
so at 11pm monday night we stacked up his car and brummed down to rosebud-goodness to the strains of john butler trio (which we listened to ALL WEEK - i hate to admit it, but i'm sick of him, chronic :-P), arriving at the camp just after 12.30am. luverly.
tuesday found us kicking back with our books, contemplating a walk down to the beach to see if the water was still there, when brett (ross's brother) turns up and disrupts our day (as he is prone to do). so ross and i put down our books, and went over to darren and heidi's (ross's cousins) camp to watch the last disk of the extended version of return of the king. then it started to rain. and rain, and RAIN AND RAIN! and storm -grins-
the trenches over-flowed, the sleeping-tent's carpet got saturated, and a mini swamp was created right behind ross's car. darren and brett played in the puddles all afternoon, digging trench after trench to suck the water away from the camps. very entertaining. heidi, ross, me and ross's mum christine had been to safeway earlier to get a BBQ pack for din-dins, but later abandoned that idea and had tinned-spaghetti toasties instead :-p very classy. and yummy :-D just after dinner, brett's mate john (A.K.A. hampo, ham-chop) turned up - ross and i HAD made prelim plans to go for a night dive, but since the water was GROSS from all the storms, we veto'ed that and went to the drive-in instead. 'meet the fockers' - not as funny as its made out to be, but still, ok. that ended, and we decided we'd stick around for 'blade:trinity' (just as shit as the first time i saw it) and THEN we trundled back to camp.
wednesday - here's where the fun starts. we wake up and brett starts to sit up and goes 'fuck. there's a scorpion in my bed', and so runs out of the tent to get a glass to pick it up. comes back (+ mum), scoops up baby scorpion and takes it next door to put in darren's daughter's bug-catcher. in the meantime, hampo's sat up and unzipped the bottom of his sleeping back and looked outside, declared that the surf's up and that it'd be an awesome day to go surfing. brett comes back and pretends he's still got the scorpion in the glass, grabs the end of hampo's sleeping back and goes 'hey hampo, check this out' and acts like he's chucking the scorpion into the bag. glass hits hampo's shin, shatters and gouges a two and a half inch slash into hampo's leg. joy, oh joy.
brett dives on the cut straight away, trying to hold it together, while also trying to pick up all the glass. chris starts to help pick up the glass, goes and gets a towel and bandage, and takes over because brett's come over all faint and pathetic, and has to go lie down in the main tent, before he passes out. he hates blood, especially in injuries to people he's close to.
long story short, they trundle over to the hospital, and hampo gets 8 stitches, and instructions to stay out of the water. shattered. :-p so it's been entertaining, watching brett trying to make it up to him :-p
i'm getting the bum's rush to go and get ready for work, so i'll finish this update later :-) all in all though, fun week :-D
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| quote of the day |
[02 Jan 2005|06:27pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
] |
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music |
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live - sweet release |
] |
"you can visit neverland any time you like."
"how?"
"just believe."
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| the new year |
[31 Dec 2004|08:57am] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
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music |
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the point of no return - the phantom |
] |
lurks closer and closer - who'd've thought a year would be over already??
just think - this time last year, i hadn't yet lived with adam, i hadn't met jarod, i was still only working at safeway, i barely hung out with katiepie, i hadn't started karate, i hadn't been trained for bakery, i didn't have my belly button pierced, i only had one tattoo....
my, how so much can change in one year, but still, ultimately lead me back to where i started, in a few major ways. again, i'm alone, again, i still only work at safeway. my belly button isn't pierced anymore, i no longer work in the bakery department.
O.o what point am i trying to make??
i guess i'm just thankful that i've had a year so full of love and hope and challenge, and triumph, and in a way, disappointment and pain, because without those, i have nothing to measure against for the really good stuff, yeah? i'm thankful to have experienced new (even though still relatively 'joe') jobs, thankful for everything adam and i shared, thankful for all the experiences my life has presented me with in 2004.
bring on the new year, and i hope its a good one. wishing you all a happy new year.
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| his power over me, grows stronger yet.... |
[30 Dec 2004|06:13pm] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
] |
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music |
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the music of the night |
] |
......the phantom of the opera is there - inside my mind....
superb. magnifique. tremendous. overwhelming. passionate. i love this movie - i adore, cherish, worship this movie. they've taken the stage show, and added to it, polished it, nurtured and FABULIZED it!! [swoon]
if you have EVER seen the stage show, and liked it, go see the movie. i sang, i cried, i fell in love over and over and over again. i've seen it twice now (equal with the number of times i've seen the stage show) and both mum and i agree we'll see it many more times while it's out in the cinema. THEN WE'LL BUY IT.
the scope of the show, the power in the music, isn't dulled by the big-screen. the newspaper reviews are SO WRONG!! they've taken a brilliant story, tweaked it just a fraction to incorporate more backstory and backstage action, and made it perfect.
pics
rolling stone review
5 stars :) IMO, anyway
ps- gerard butler = seriously deformed hotness :-p
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| explanation |
[27 Dec 2004|09:59am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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where do i start?
i've been pretending for a while, that everything's ok. that the wait to see him was worth it, that those few days together made up for months of loneliness. because that's what i was - lonely. i needed him here - i needed him to share my good days, my bad days, my mundane days, my stupid days. you can't share those things over the phone, or in a letter. i KNOW i chose the long-distance relationship - i was so madly in love with him, i didn't care - i threw all my doubts to the wind and just swore i'd make it work. i am still in love with him, i do still care very deeply for him - but loving him isn't enough.
we worked out ages ago, that since he'd be contracted into the military for the next six years, it'd be me who had to move. and i used to be fine with that. but lately, lately i want to LIVE! waiting for him to give me the ok to move, to drop my life and change everything, meant that i hadn't enrolled for any further schooling, meant that i hadn't applied for any, more challenging or engaging jobs, meant that i was sitting here waiting. he TOLD me to move on, to go to school, to buy a car, to move out, and do all that - but how much could i honestly do, if one day he was going to tell me 'hey, you can come over now'. he wasn't expecting me to wait for him, i know this, but it was me, sitting here thinking 'maybe the end of next year, mebbe sooner' that meant i hadn't DONE anything.
the fact that i didn't know how long i had was driving me insane. that i had no basis for planning, was driving me insane.
and it hit me, weeks ago, how much i don't want to leave my family, and my friends. i don't want to have to pay thousands of dollars just to visit my parents. i don't want to miss my friend's 21st birthdays, i dont want to miss my brother growing up. in the long run, too, i want my kids to know both sets of grandparents, not just have 'those other ones' who live in australia.
sadly, money is a big factor of it all. even if i didn't move over there in the next six years, how much would we spend on visiting each other?? how much would we NOT save, if we were planning trips every few months?? i feel yacky bringing the money up, but its true! i don't want to be moving in together, completely unprepared without any savings. that fully terrifies me. but then, if we weren't spending the money to see each other, it would 6 long years of phonecalls and letters, and that's not enough.
what's worse is, when he goes in for military training, i wouldn't even be able to call him when i wanted, or he me. that's been the worst thing of the last 5 months - he calls when he can, but i can't. and its not enough.
i've said it, over and over - this isn't about NOT loving him, this is about a fucked up situation that i can't deal with anymore. and people are always telling me, 'be true to yourself'. well i am. it hurts, but goddammit - this had to happen. and i'm sorry.
there's probably more to it, but my thoughts are a roiling mess and i can't figure them all out right now.
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| its over |
[24 Dec 2004|10:15am] |
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mood |
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crappy |
] |
i'll explain it, eventually.
adam and i aren't together anymore.
it's my fault, and that's all i can say about it right now.
merry christmas.
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| finally.... |
[22 Dec 2004|11:24am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
] |
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music |
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live -DUH- |
] |
piccies from the live concert....
mate jane with -drools- ed kowalczyk
( and the rest.... )
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| oh, woe is me... |
[21 Dec 2004|04:57pm] |
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mood |
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sombre |
] |
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music |
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deep dish - flash dance |
] |
took my navel piercing out this morning - i'm sick of waking up with it hurting, and getting caught on my clothes :-p and it was healing crooked, anyway. so yay - now i have a teeny tiny dot scar :-p lol... almost better than the piercing in the first place....
i will miss how it looked with my bikini though...
-takes a moment of silence for the dearly departed belly-bar- R.I.P. (and please don't get infected AGAIN)
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